I have to start this post off by saying that PRIME CIRCLE ROCKED!!!!!! But what rocked even more was the opportunity to share it with the nobble. True enough, he left me to fight a hippo independently and then some with the shim. Seriously, I expected more from the twang wielding ninja style of the nob, but what can I say… I think he just knew I could handle them on my own. Actually I think he was a little scared the hippo wouldn’t see him and just walk over him and I’d already proven that I could get through, past, and over anyone who got in my way. Hahahaha.. Finally the skills developed at Crowded House have paid off somewhere. The poor nob had a hard time keeping up, eventually just clutching my hoody like a newborn with its blankie!
However, I am happy/sad (not sure yet) to say that we behaved, and apart from the interesting concoction of vodka, tequila, passion fruit and lemonade that we somehow ended up with.. cough cough.. there was no overindulgent drinking or illicit activity.. well except having to pull the nob off a pole that he mistook for a girl. Ok fine! I didn’t have to pull him off, he realised on his own when it wouldn’t give him its number. But by this stage Prime Circle were ready to play, and our inner bunnies took over, bouncing and shrieking. Well mine did in any case, the nobble just stared and laughed at me. This wasn’t proper behaviour for someone my age he told me, that and we need to have a serious discussion regarding my taste in men. Not my fault he’s turned into a Tellytubby – karmic justice if you ask me.
However the verdict is in – nobbles are compulsory at concerts, next time though we have to bring the twang along. The two of them can fight the hippos away from the bar together – and then I won’t have battle bruises the next morning, just a good old fashioned hangover!
Monday, March 23, 2009
Sunday, March 22, 2009
I'm Now Judging!
I'm sorry, but I've now just had enough of lazy people! If this post offends you, then good! You deserve to be offended, because I know too many people who work their asses off each day who are not rewarded, while lazy gits like you park off! I was talking to Cait this morning, and she agreed - people who bitch about being over-weight, do nothing about it, assume it's God's cosmic joke on them, and then sit down with a Coke and pie in front of them while they complain, grind me to a point where I want to beat them with that can!
And now I've just read the most ridiculous piece in the Sunday Times about a family in the UK who are proud of being obese, and being lazy! They refuse to work because they are so overweight, and believe the government should pay them more in disability every month because of it. Um.... Right.... Why the hell don't we all just move there, claim disability, and eat chocolate all day? See how the great British empire and economy looks then!
But here's my favourite part: They won't exercise because they just don't have the time - I'm sorry, what?? You don't work, why on earth do you not have time to exercise? Oh wait, it's because they claim they are too busy watching TV!! Seriously?!? You have got to be kidding me?! They admit that watching TV tires them out so much, that they have to nap in the afternoons. Seriously?! And you think you deserve to be given money by the government, by people who work their butts off to pay taxes, so you can do that?? No wonder they want to introduce a sin tax on chocolate, with people like this around!
This is why we have reached a global recession. People have become too damn lazy to earn their keep, and expect everyone else to fix their problems. You can't keep blaming everyone else for your problems, cause trust me, I know people who deal with a hell of a lot more every day, and they are not given any sort of special treatment (even though they deserve it far more).
Some would say people like this should be put down, I have a better solution. Stop paying for them to do nothing! Make use of them. Ship them to Chinese sweat shops! Hell.. Ship them to my office! Put the Coke down, start paying for yourself, and learn some bloody responsiblity!! You do not deserve anything, except judgement and condemnation from society, not disability cheques!
Shew! Ok.. Rant done... I needed that :)
And now I've just read the most ridiculous piece in the Sunday Times about a family in the UK who are proud of being obese, and being lazy! They refuse to work because they are so overweight, and believe the government should pay them more in disability every month because of it. Um.... Right.... Why the hell don't we all just move there, claim disability, and eat chocolate all day? See how the great British empire and economy looks then!
But here's my favourite part: They won't exercise because they just don't have the time - I'm sorry, what?? You don't work, why on earth do you not have time to exercise? Oh wait, it's because they claim they are too busy watching TV!! Seriously?!? You have got to be kidding me?! They admit that watching TV tires them out so much, that they have to nap in the afternoons. Seriously?! And you think you deserve to be given money by the government, by people who work their butts off to pay taxes, so you can do that?? No wonder they want to introduce a sin tax on chocolate, with people like this around!
This is why we have reached a global recession. People have become too damn lazy to earn their keep, and expect everyone else to fix their problems. You can't keep blaming everyone else for your problems, cause trust me, I know people who deal with a hell of a lot more every day, and they are not given any sort of special treatment (even though they deserve it far more).
Some would say people like this should be put down, I have a better solution. Stop paying for them to do nothing! Make use of them. Ship them to Chinese sweat shops! Hell.. Ship them to my office! Put the Coke down, start paying for yourself, and learn some bloody responsiblity!! You do not deserve anything, except judgement and condemnation from society, not disability cheques!
Shew! Ok.. Rant done... I needed that :)
Monday, March 16, 2009
Beneath My Skin
Why does it feel like night today?
Something in here's not right today
Why am I so uptight today?
Paranoia's all I got left
I don't know what stressed me first
Or how the pressure was fed
but I know just what it feels like
To have a voice in the back of my head it’s like a face that I hold inside
face that awakes when I close my eyes
face that watches every time I lie
face that laughs every time I fall
(and watches everything)
So I know that when it's time to sink or swim
That the face inside is hearing me - right underneath my skin
It's like I'm paranoid lookin' over my back
It's like a whirlwind inside of my head
It's like I can't stop what I'm hearing within
It's like the face inside is right beneath my skin
Here we go again with the pain I feel that isn’t real. But in my mind
when I find myself in places with names but not faces
my memory races at speeds
hundred degrees
my soul it bleeds
devil must've planted the seed
now it feels like my backs against the wall, I'm takin the fall
whenever I call nobody's responding at all
but I don’t know who I can trust, they screaming my name
I need somebody to help me out of the flame
All I'm trying to do is just master me
all I wanna do is smoke a blasta beat
but something keeps talking to me consciously, responsibly
it keeps haunting me
From dusk til dawn everyday has something for ya
that voice inside of ya head has got you projecting paranoia.
Cold sweat, shining on your face exposing your purpose
and if I, ripped off your skin I'd probably find a, 'nother person
There’s nothing thing worse than trying to bring yourself up back from the dead
so I advise you listen to that voice in the back of you head
It's like I'm paranoid lookin' over my back
It's like a whirlwind inside of my head
It's like I can't stop what I'm hearing within
It's like the face inside is right beneath my skin
It's like I'm paranoid lookin' over my back
It's like a whirlwind inside of my head
It's like I can't stop what I'm hearing within
It's like the face inside is right beneath my skin
The sun goes down
I feel the light betray me
the sun goes down
its like I'm paranoid
I feel the light betray me
the sun
It's like I'm paranoid lookin' over my back
It's like a whirlwind inside of my head
It's like I can't stop what I'm hearing within
It's like the face inside is right beneath
It's like I'm paranoid lookin' over my back
It's like a whirlwind inside of my head
It's like I can't stop what I'm hearing within
It's like the face inside is right beneath my skin
Something in here's not right today
Why am I so uptight today?
Paranoia's all I got left
I don't know what stressed me first
Or how the pressure was fed
but I know just what it feels like
To have a voice in the back of my head it’s like a face that I hold inside
face that awakes when I close my eyes
face that watches every time I lie
face that laughs every time I fall
(and watches everything)
So I know that when it's time to sink or swim
That the face inside is hearing me - right underneath my skin
It's like I'm paranoid lookin' over my back
It's like a whirlwind inside of my head
It's like I can't stop what I'm hearing within
It's like the face inside is right beneath my skin
Here we go again with the pain I feel that isn’t real. But in my mind
when I find myself in places with names but not faces
my memory races at speeds
hundred degrees
my soul it bleeds
devil must've planted the seed
now it feels like my backs against the wall, I'm takin the fall
whenever I call nobody's responding at all
but I don’t know who I can trust, they screaming my name
I need somebody to help me out of the flame
All I'm trying to do is just master me
all I wanna do is smoke a blasta beat
but something keeps talking to me consciously, responsibly
it keeps haunting me
From dusk til dawn everyday has something for ya
that voice inside of ya head has got you projecting paranoia.
Cold sweat, shining on your face exposing your purpose
and if I, ripped off your skin I'd probably find a, 'nother person
There’s nothing thing worse than trying to bring yourself up back from the dead
so I advise you listen to that voice in the back of you head
It's like I'm paranoid lookin' over my back
It's like a whirlwind inside of my head
It's like I can't stop what I'm hearing within
It's like the face inside is right beneath my skin
It's like I'm paranoid lookin' over my back
It's like a whirlwind inside of my head
It's like I can't stop what I'm hearing within
It's like the face inside is right beneath my skin
The sun goes down
I feel the light betray me
the sun goes down
its like I'm paranoid
I feel the light betray me
the sun
It's like I'm paranoid lookin' over my back
It's like a whirlwind inside of my head
It's like I can't stop what I'm hearing within
It's like the face inside is right beneath
It's like I'm paranoid lookin' over my back
It's like a whirlwind inside of my head
It's like I can't stop what I'm hearing within
It's like the face inside is right beneath my skin
Sunday, March 15, 2009
Viva Comrade Malema!
I was honestly saddened when Obama was sworn in, because it was then I realised that no longer would we have baby Bush saying the most amazingly stupid things to brighten our days. Well, that’s what I thought until sweet, little, comrade Julius barged onto the scene. True, he made not have the international appeal of the babe, but his foot-in-mouth antics are still fun and at times very educational.
Like his latest little quip regarding JZ’s rape acquittal, in which he stated that: “When a woman didn’t enjoy it, she leaves early in the morning. Those who had a nice time will wait until the sun comes out, request breakfast and ask for taxi money.” To be fair, at first this made me want to punch his head in, but after a few glasses and deep thought, I thought: “Holy crap!! This guy is actually quite forward thinking. The woman gets to request breakfast?!”
Obviously I’ve been doing things all wrong all these years. Yes, I think I like the way this man thinks. He knows his place - not only does he acknowledge that it should be the man slaving away in the kitchen, but that it should be done at dawn, awaiting her as she wakes up.
Ok, the asking for taxi money thing is a little prostitutey, but in fairness, if a man wants to fork over cash let him do it – you’ll let him buy you clothes for goodness sake, why not give you taxi money (just make sure it’s a stretch taxi with tinted windows and a champagne fountain).
The only thing I’m going to have to disagree with you on, little one, is the assumption that woman who didn’t enjoy it leave before sunrise. Usually you only realise that you haven’t enjoyed it when there’s enough sunlight to see what you went home with the night before. Chances are the sun will come up, she’ll have that oh my God, what did I do moment, and will run. But I’m sure that has never happened to our esteemed comrade, whose culinary skills are after all, legendary in the press.
Like his latest little quip regarding JZ’s rape acquittal, in which he stated that: “When a woman didn’t enjoy it, she leaves early in the morning. Those who had a nice time will wait until the sun comes out, request breakfast and ask for taxi money.” To be fair, at first this made me want to punch his head in, but after a few glasses and deep thought, I thought: “Holy crap!! This guy is actually quite forward thinking. The woman gets to request breakfast?!”
Obviously I’ve been doing things all wrong all these years. Yes, I think I like the way this man thinks. He knows his place - not only does he acknowledge that it should be the man slaving away in the kitchen, but that it should be done at dawn, awaiting her as she wakes up.
Ok, the asking for taxi money thing is a little prostitutey, but in fairness, if a man wants to fork over cash let him do it – you’ll let him buy you clothes for goodness sake, why not give you taxi money (just make sure it’s a stretch taxi with tinted windows and a champagne fountain).
The only thing I’m going to have to disagree with you on, little one, is the assumption that woman who didn’t enjoy it leave before sunrise. Usually you only realise that you haven’t enjoyed it when there’s enough sunlight to see what you went home with the night before. Chances are the sun will come up, she’ll have that oh my God, what did I do moment, and will run. But I’m sure that has never happened to our esteemed comrade, whose culinary skills are after all, legendary in the press.
Friday, March 13, 2009
OMG!! I Forgot!!
After all this talk about bunny invasions and trying to get all this stupid work done, oh and being sick.. I have forgotten my most important calling in life. Something that I have been so passionate to create, and I went and forgot it... tsk tsk... I really am starting to lose it. I am of course talking about developing my army of to-the-death toddler stick fighters!
It is still my dream to open a school where Ritalin popping mothers can bring their deprived ADHD children to a place where their extra energy will be put to good use. You see, not only will my stick fighting techniques help better mankind in the ultimate human bunny battle, but it also gives mothers who are in need of a break a much welcomed school of energy depletion.
I have a dream... hahahaha.. sorry couldn't resist..
But this little training centre would take toddlers of all shapes and sizes, and arranged them into pain tolerance levels, wouldn't want the cry babies on the battle field would we? And then they will be trained by highly skilled eight year olds in the art of bullying, smacking and biting. Once they have mastered these abilities they will be allowed to choose their stick of choice, ranging from the whipping young sapling, a hard tree branch, or (my personal favourite) the stinging nettle branch still intact with leaves at the tip.
The bunnies don't stand a chance mwahahahaha!!!!
It is still my dream to open a school where Ritalin popping mothers can bring their deprived ADHD children to a place where their extra energy will be put to good use. You see, not only will my stick fighting techniques help better mankind in the ultimate human bunny battle, but it also gives mothers who are in need of a break a much welcomed school of energy depletion.
I have a dream... hahahaha.. sorry couldn't resist..
But this little training centre would take toddlers of all shapes and sizes, and arranged them into pain tolerance levels, wouldn't want the cry babies on the battle field would we? And then they will be trained by highly skilled eight year olds in the art of bullying, smacking and biting. Once they have mastered these abilities they will be allowed to choose their stick of choice, ranging from the whipping young sapling, a hard tree branch, or (my personal favourite) the stinging nettle branch still intact with leaves at the tip.
The bunnies don't stand a chance mwahahahaha!!!!
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
They're Here!!
I have to admit, I’m kinda scared. THAT time of year is fast approaching… you know, that awful feeling as the air gets colder, the days get shorter, and all of a sudden you notice the influx of bunnies!! Everywhere!! Bunnies!! And it seems that only I have realised the true and terrifying implications that this fact holds. You have all been fooled into thinking that this is some religious holiday.. PAH!! Silly, silly minions… Can you not see that the bunnies are preparing for world domination? Let me put the facts into perspective for you:
1) The bunny holiday starts earlier and earlier every year, soon the whole year will be consumed by capitalist rabbit exploitation
2) It lasts longer every year to empty the shelves of bunny merchandise, so further fuels the evidence in point one
3) The bunnies carry eggs… Last I checked bunnies were mammals and didn’t lay eggs. So why the need for eggs? Obviously they are cleverly disguised weapons of mass destruction; this is why Bush could never find any!
4) Based on the former fact, it is obvious that Saddam was working for the bunny overlord, a diabolical genius who is still out there looking for another pawn to use… Obama perhaps??
5) Why are all of them always smiling? They must know something that we don’t… Like they are planning a global invasion. Remember 2 bunnies equal 6000 in a matter of hours!
6) Finally, they’re fluffy!! Enough said!
You have been warned!!
1) The bunny holiday starts earlier and earlier every year, soon the whole year will be consumed by capitalist rabbit exploitation
2) It lasts longer every year to empty the shelves of bunny merchandise, so further fuels the evidence in point one
3) The bunnies carry eggs… Last I checked bunnies were mammals and didn’t lay eggs. So why the need for eggs? Obviously they are cleverly disguised weapons of mass destruction; this is why Bush could never find any!
4) Based on the former fact, it is obvious that Saddam was working for the bunny overlord, a diabolical genius who is still out there looking for another pawn to use… Obama perhaps??
5) Why are all of them always smiling? They must know something that we don’t… Like they are planning a global invasion. Remember 2 bunnies equal 6000 in a matter of hours!
6) Finally, they’re fluffy!! Enough said!
You have been warned!!
Monday, March 2, 2009
Dear Crazy Bitch
Wes has given me full permission to reply to an e-mail he received from, for less than a better phrase, a crazy bitch, so in true female style... It's on!!
Dear Crazy Bitch
I'd first like to point out to you, that when writing a letter to someone it's polite to not only use correct grammar, but to use words in the correct context! Just because Word's thesaurus says it's a synonym does not mean you can use it in the same way. So stop pretending that you smarter than you are, because let's face it.. Someone in your profession has a higher shoe size, so stop trying to surpass it... It'll never happen!
Secondly, where the hell do you get off claiming your autonomy on the matter.. Oh wait, sorry big word that you'll never get... let me re-phrase.. How is it possible that you think all of this was your decision? From what I've heard, and believe me, I know far more than anyone realised considering who I was dating at the time, you need to consider your words more carefully! I'm sure, even with your limited range of intellect, you understand the saying "It takes two to tango", and in this case it seems that your tangoing has slipped your memory.. because after all.. only the tangoing was your decision, not the events which followed. So stop assuming that anyone is pining, fawning or wanting the deceit and poison that you radiate.
Finally, when someone says go away and not to reply, you do not ask to be friends!! There's a reason they don't like you, and in this matter, not liking is a mild term. Get on with your life chick! Why try dwell and live in the past.. the mistakes were yours and no-one elses!
PS Are you using duct tape this time to keep the new appendage from falling off?
Dear Crazy Bitch
I'd first like to point out to you, that when writing a letter to someone it's polite to not only use correct grammar, but to use words in the correct context! Just because Word's thesaurus says it's a synonym does not mean you can use it in the same way. So stop pretending that you smarter than you are, because let's face it.. Someone in your profession has a higher shoe size, so stop trying to surpass it... It'll never happen!
Secondly, where the hell do you get off claiming your autonomy on the matter.. Oh wait, sorry big word that you'll never get... let me re-phrase.. How is it possible that you think all of this was your decision? From what I've heard, and believe me, I know far more than anyone realised considering who I was dating at the time, you need to consider your words more carefully! I'm sure, even with your limited range of intellect, you understand the saying "It takes two to tango", and in this case it seems that your tangoing has slipped your memory.. because after all.. only the tangoing was your decision, not the events which followed. So stop assuming that anyone is pining, fawning or wanting the deceit and poison that you radiate.
Finally, when someone says go away and not to reply, you do not ask to be friends!! There's a reason they don't like you, and in this matter, not liking is a mild term. Get on with your life chick! Why try dwell and live in the past.. the mistakes were yours and no-one elses!
PS Are you using duct tape this time to keep the new appendage from falling off?
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