Viva Comrade Malema!

I was honestly saddened when Obama was sworn in, because it was then I realised that no longer would we have baby Bush saying the most amazingly stupid things to brighten our days. Well, that’s what I thought until sweet, little, comrade Julius barged onto the scene. True, he made not have the international appeal of the babe, but his foot-in-mouth antics are still fun and at times very educational.

Like his latest little quip regarding JZ’s rape acquittal, in which he stated that: “When a woman didn’t enjoy it, she leaves early in the morning. Those who had a nice time will wait until the sun comes out, request breakfast and ask for taxi money.” To be fair, at first this made me want to punch his head in, but after a few glasses and deep thought, I thought: “Holy crap!! This guy is actually quite forward thinking. The woman gets to request breakfast?!”

Obviously I’ve been doing things all wrong all these years. Yes, I think I like the way this man thinks. He knows his place - not only does he acknowledge that it should be the man slaving away in the kitchen, but that it should be done at dawn, awaiting her as she wakes up.

Ok, the asking for taxi money thing is a little prostitutey, but in fairness, if a man wants to fork over cash let him do it – you’ll let him buy you clothes for goodness sake, why not give you taxi money (just make sure it’s a stretch taxi with tinted windows and a champagne fountain).

The only thing I’m going to have to disagree with you on, little one, is the assumption that woman who didn’t enjoy it leave before sunrise. Usually you only realise that you haven’t enjoyed it when there’s enough sunlight to see what you went home with the night before. Chances are the sun will come up, she’ll have that oh my God, what did I do moment, and will run. But I’m sure that has never happened to our esteemed comrade, whose culinary skills are after all, legendary in the press.