Money is Happiness

So I got over the whole insult the world thing, to be fair I'm a little scared of going after people who are a lot smarter than me, so we'll leave the academics alone for a while. Instead I'd like to share the epiphany that I had while surfing on a medically induced hazy cloud. I've often said that money equals happiness, only to be shot down by the eternal optimists of the world, who tell me that happiness is a state of being that the capitalists have no control over... Happiness is realising what you need and obtaining it, not what you want and getting it.

BAH!! I have news for all of you. And I have logic to back it all up with. You see, like every emotion to be happy is a chemical process, a process that some of us help kickstart with nice little white pills. But happiness as in the higher state of being is really just a virtual state of mind. It doesn't really exist because no-one can ever truly be happy, we are all trying to achieve a state of being which is completely virtual and unproven.

This leads me to my whole argument, money is happiness. Money like happiness does not truly exist. Think about this carefully, all money is virtual. If I go to the bank and say I want to trasfer money from my account to yours, I will never actually touch that money. It doesn't exist! It's a completely virtual transaction and the person who receives that money will never see it either. It disappears into the bottomless pit of debit orders, debt and overdrafts. Does it not? And the physical money you touch, is really just worthless pieces of paper given a virtual value.

Therefore, logic dictates that because both are virtual and something that everyone has a dire need to achieve.. they must equal the same thing..

Therefore MONEY=HAPPINESS!