Why Spur Wine is the Devil

Tonight Ash and I hit Spur for a bit of gossip and semi-decent food. She ordered schnizel, me a chicken burger.. grilled of course! But foolishly I also indulged in some of the house's finest rose.. Needless to say that thats when it went a bit pear shaped! This wine has the power of at least 6 tequilas per glass... so two glasses of it had me floored.. dont tell Ash though.. she thinks I was FINE! However.. I feel it my duty to inform all what can occur from drinking this poison.. besides ignoring the calories from a Spur meal.. it can make snails seem ginormous.. make toothbrushes attack.. and all pain vanish! Wait.. what was my point? Oh yes! Drink Spur wine ;)